Outfit 43 | Sewing Project | Time to Heal

 

A photo from our engagement photoshoot -- both wearing shirts I've made.

This short break from sewing is lasting a little longer than I intended. Last weekend I cut my finger when a glass bowl fell and broke while washing dishes. It is of course, on my right hand, and this whole experience is making me realize I wish I was ambidextrous. It's also making me rest and stay still. I never realized how much energy I have in my hands. I am someone who is almost always doing, and to be forced to stop is uncomfortable.

It feels like a betrayal, when you get injured. Aside from the obvious pain, I felt a sadness. Sadness that things weren't alright. So often I feel separate from my body, disconnected and honestly a bit afraid of all the inner workings. As someone with anxiety since childhood, I've created this schism because so often the anxious feelings manifest themselves as physical discomfort. My body has been my opponent for so long.

Through practice (therapy, yoga, sewing) I am learning to connect to my body in a loving way. With sewing; making something custom for me, just for my particular container, I offer a gift to my physical self. Clothing has always been the one way I knew how to be kind to my body, an expression of love to drape it in something beautiful. 

So I'm doing a lot of healing. It's something I've been working on for a while, and I don't think it will ever be done. Looking for the beauty, for the connection. It's one of the things I love most about creating. In this way, I suppose my recent injury hasn't really stopped me from doing. It has only helped me see from yet another of the seemingly endless possible perspectives that you can choose to take.